Sleeping Beauty

Another day has passed and Mom lies asleep in the hospital . It seems like just yesterday she was awake and joining in the conversation. But now she is slumbering in her bed like Sleeping Beauty unaware of those around her.The nurses have turned on a channel that runs a constant loop of waves and ocean sounds. It may be restful for Mom, however I can't stop thinking of the television screens in each home in the book Fahrenheit 451. The television screens were used in much the same way to keep the inhabitants in a trance so they would not be conscious of their surroundings.

Since I am not a scientist I would like those that read my comments to understand they are my own observations. I cannot help looking at her and thinking that perhaps dementia is a retreat into a safer place much like the baby inside the womb. For Mom it does not seem to be a scary place, but a cozy space with the sounds of moving water and darkness. She seems to be perfectly happy.

I have not given up, however, I still look for the Mom who used to bring me chocolate dipped cones when I was sick. That wonderful experience caused me to be "sick" on many occasions. She was a Mom who was totally devoted to her family. Her relationship with her own Mother was not close, so I think she tried very hard to be the best Mom she could be for her children.

My sister and I always had new shoes for church and the first day of school. When it was a very special event she drove us to the nearest town twenty miles away so we would each have a special dress purchased from a "real" department store. In the end even though she tortured me with countless smelly perms to make my straight hair curly, just like Shirley Temple, I would still forgive her, give her a kiss, put on my jeans, grab my baseball glove and run across the road to play with my boy cousins. Despite my Mom's example of how a proper young lady must act, I never wanted to transform myself into a girlie girl. For me life was much more exciting climbing trees and wrestling with the boys, not kissing them. Yuck!